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Alexandre Cabanel‘s “Phaedra” (1880)

Current Location: Musee Fabre en Montpellier

FACT OF THE DAY: Sometimes sunny days are over rated.

Tags: Alexandre Cabanel, Phaedra, Greek Tragedy, lounging around half naked, Xbox 360, Coors light, pizza, McDonald’s, art speaks to me, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, animated masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Eugene Delacroix‘s “Liberty Leading the People” (1830)

Current Location: The Louvre, Paris, France

FACT OF THE DAY: I LOVE LIBERTY!!!

Tags: Eugene Delacroix, Liberty Leads the People, Do you hear the people sing, singing the song “bow-chica-bowbow,” Young Boy jerking it, People are excited about freedom, Democracy spooged all over the people, I love liberty, this is my rifle this is my gun, young boy, crazy penis, the spunk of freedom, no representation without a little hanky panky, penis, cock and balls, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Edmund Blair Leighton‘s “Accolade” (1901)

Current Location: Private Collection

FACT OF THE DAY: …then she got on her knees

Tags: Edmund Blair Leighton, The Accolade, Making boys into knights, middle ages, you’re getting a raise, a nicer title, but your pay is going to stay the same, Hottie with a sword, young woman and young man with a luke skywalker haircut, I used to own pajamas with footies too, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Francisco de Goya‘s “Dutchess de Alba” (1779)

Current Location: Hispanic Society of America, New York

FACT OF THE DAY: Spain Wins!

Tags: Francisco de Goya, Viva Espana, Soccer, World Cup, Dutchess de Alba, Mourning portrait, black dress, gigantic boobs, soccer ball breasts, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Jules-Joseph Lefebvre‘s “Truth” (1870)

Current Location: Musee d’Orsay, Paris France

FACT OF THE DAY: This woman was amazing at beer pong…and also…eventually became the Statue of Liberty (true story).

Tags: Jules-Joseph Lefbvre, Musee d’Orsay, Paris, France, Nude woman playing ping pong, Pingponica was the ancient goddess of table sports, she was not the goddess of wearing pants, Cheerleaders were once an integral part of the game, then players started putting their own balls in the cheerleaders, things got ugly, new tricks were learned, stripper ping-pong ball tricks, it got crazy. Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Georges Rochegrosse‘s “Knight of the Flowers” (1892)

Current Location: Musee d’ Orsay, France

FACT OF THE DAY: You find something you’re good at, and you stick with it.

Tags: Georges Rochegrosse, Knight of the Flowers, Shining armor, girls in trouble, girls about to get in trouble, nudes and nakeds, hanging out in a field, asking for it, Sir Lancelots dreaded enemy Sir Fucksalot, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Paul Delaroche‘s “Hémicycle” (1842)

Current Location: École Nationale Supérieure des Beaux-arts, Paris

FACT OF THE DAY: I always win.

Tags: Delroche, Hemicycle, Penis Game, Father, Son, Grandfather, Naked Women, Power can get boring, Greek den of sin, just another day at the parthenon, the royal penis is clean sir, yell it from the top of mountain olympus, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Pierre-Paul Prud’hon‘s “Justice and Divine Vengeance Pursuing Crime” (1808)

Current Location: J. Paul Getty Museum, Los Angeles CA

FACT OF THE DAY: Most people can out run an angel…so long as the angel isn’t wielding a gun.

Tags: Pierre-Paul Prud’hon, Justic and Divine Vengeance Pursuing Crime, J. Paul Getty Museum, Los Angeles CA, Crisis of Conscience, Burn, Rape, Steal, Naked Dead Guy, Justice is blind but she wields fire which is pretty cool, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter

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Alexandre Falguière’s “Les Lutteurs” (The Fighteres) (1875)

Current Location: Musée d’Orsay, Paris France

FACT OF THE DAY: I love you, man.

Tags: The Fighters, The Wrestlers, Les Lutteurs, a manly embrace, Hug-a-boy, enjoy a firm hug, Brothers, creepy voyeurs, Sherlock Holmes, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter

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Jacques-Louis David’s “Napoleon in his Study” (1812)

Current Location: name of place w/hyperlink

FACT OF THE DAY: Before a French person takes a picture, they say “Fromage”

Tags: Take a picture, Be Napoleon, souvenir is a French word, I love France, mostly I love French chesses, Cut out of a famous leader, Bradley Werner, Sara Werner, Seth Levine, Michael Werner, Tim Trevathan, Christa Trevathan, Mike Barish, Rob Profusek, Ryan Silbert, Jeremy Halbridge, National Gallery of Art, Washington, D.C. Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter

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Paul Lasaine‘s “Moby Dick” (2007)

Current Location: Paul Lasaine’s House

FACT OF THE DAY: Moby Dick was extremely playful.

Tags: Moby Dick, The Great White Whale, Peek-a-boo! Peak a boo, I see you, Marco! Polo! Ishmael, Starbuck, Herman Melville, The Great American Novel, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter, Private Collection

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Francisco Zugno‘s “The Finding of Moses” (1740)

Current Location: The National Gallery, UK

FACT OF THE DAY: Baby fever will make you do crazy things…like keep a baby that might not technically be yours…

Tags: Moses was floating down the river in Egypt when some princess with baby fever found him and, against her best intentions to alert the police, kept him and raised him as her own…only to ensure the fruition of the Hebrews and Jewish religion. Do the Jews honor today? Not so much…  Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Caspar David Friedrich‘s “The Wreck of Hope” (1872)

Current Location: Kunsthalle, Hamburg, Germany

FACT OF THE DAY: No matter how hopeless the situation appears, you must NEVER kneel before Zod.

Tags: Caspar David Friedrich, aka The Sea of Ice, Fortress of Solitude, Admiral Parry, Superman, Kal-El, Jor-El home videos, motion blur, Superman and Santa play cards at the north pole, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists,

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Carl Spitzweg‘s “The Bookworm” (1850)

Current Location: Private Collection

FACT OF THE DAY: I am soooo getting an iPad.

Tags: Carl Spitzweg painted “The Bookworm” who ulitimately embraced the Apple iPad, but due to a lack of understanding with regards to technology, replaced all the books in his library with an iPad, which made it possible for him to lend friends books, but cost most of his money. Here he is. The worm was an older, well-read, man and is now part of a  Private Collection. Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artist

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Paul Delrouche‘s “The Young Martyr” (1853)

Current Location: The Louvre, Paris France

FACT OF THE DAY: People float, only after they drown.

Tags: The Young Martyr (A Christian Martyr Drowned in the Tiber During the Reign of Diocletian), Delarouche, Dead Christian, Floating in a River, the rein of Diocletian, bound, gagged, halo, shadowy figure, louvre, poor, alone, smelly, take me to a river, State Hermitage Museum, St Petersburg, Russia, art kicks ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Emanuel Leutze‘s “George Washington Crossing the Delaware” (1851)

Current Location: The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, NY

FACT OF THE DAY: Washington’s voyage across the Delaware is listed on Tripadvisor.com as one of the worst cruise’s of all time…patriotic camaraderie doesn’t trump in-room wi-fi and all-you-can-eat buffets.

Tags: Emanuel Leutze, George Washington, Delaware, New Jersey, Red Coats, Pirates, I put my hand upon her toe, ya ho, ya ho, Caribbean, Pirate songs, camp songs, toe is way too low, knee is teasing me, something-something now you’re hitting the spot, tit and you’re squeezing it, mouth and marblewarrrfl, wooden box from sucking cox, dig her up every now and then and do her again and again and again, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Titain‘s “Bacchus and Ariadne” (1523)

Current Location: National Gallery of London, UK

FACT OF THE DAY: More than half of ancient Roman’s threw like girls…including Julius Caesar.

Tags: Titian, Bacchus, Ariadne,1523, National Gallery of London, UK, Throw like a girl, Victory of the Bacchus, Renaissance, wuss, weakly, girly man, Ode to a Nightingale, Go naked people, Red vs. Blue, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Stuart Gilbert‘s “Lansdowne Portrait of George Washington” (1796)

Current Location: Smithsonian Institute, National Portrait Gallery

FACT OF THE DAY: George Washington hated Cherry Trees.

Tags: Lansdowne Portrait, George Washington, Stuart Gilbert, Smithsonian Institute, Father of our Country, First President, Cherry Tree Hate Crimes, Colorful outfits, where’s his sword go? American Revolution, Declaration of Independence, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Raphael‘s “Sistine Madonna” (1514)

Current Location: Gemäldegalerie Alte Meister, Dresden, Germany

FACT OF THE DAY: God, who art in heaven, great, mighty and awesome god, god supreme…has awesome balls. They inspire hope.

Tags: Raphael, Raphaello, Renaissance, Gemäldegalerie Alte Meister (old masters) of Dresden, Germany, Valentine’s Day, Angels, Seriphs, Cupid, True Love, God’s Balls, Awesome, Amazing, Huge Testicles of Light, Art Kicks Ass by Bradley Werner, famous art, masterpieces, artists, painter,

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Leonardo Da Vinci‘s “Mona Lisa” (1513)

Current Location: Musée du Louvre, Paris

FACT OF THE DAY: Mona Lisa couldn’t turn left and was often criticized for having one look.

Tags: Leonardo Da Vinci, La Giaconda, Mona Lisa, Portrait of Lisa Gherardini, wife of Francesco del Giocondo, Weird Smile, She totally wants to bang, Derek Zoolander, Blue Steel, Magnum, La Tigre, Model, Portrait

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